This is incredibly powerful and incredibly personal music and I can see why someone with Metcalfe’s reputation for construction chose the self-release route. Theme: Newsup by Themeansar. So, it’s a very personal record, but it expresses wordless feelings so accurately with its soundscapes and its stream-of-consciousness lyrics that it’ll speak to anybody who’s experienced depression. oft-melancholic, with “Misspent Youth,” which Metcalfe calls “a story about Whatever the instrument is, it’s used in almost every song and it really fucks with you. The former is perhaps my favorite song of the record, with its pounding industrial drum and haunting glockenspiel *. an album so intense, so emotionally overwhelming, so dark, twisted, and genuinely horrifying, it transcends music. Xandra Metcalfe, the Australian recording artist who works under the name UBOA, makes riveting and often unsettling musique concrete that falls somewhere between Per Mission and Loscil or Purgist and Knurl. You expect it to be filled with bold pronouncements. i can't. That’s what feels so real about this album: being caught between emptiness and suffering. It’s music so potent that you probably won’t reach for it unless you feel a certain way. I think how art is able to present particular intances or scenarios that one might not or might never be able experience, while still making the person subject to the work feel that they're very much there, not just being a witness, but one that facing it head on, is something often underappreciated. The opener, the somber “Detransitioning,” prominently features a trickling shower of piano measures and Metcalfe’s unexpectedly doe-like voice, half-mumbled. You don’t necessarily expect it to move you, to ravage you, like this one does. noisy, harsh and raw, The Origin of My Depression capitalizes on all of the horrible feelings of dysphoria, depression, anxiety and mania i've ever felt. i can't. this is like, the Deathconsciousness of this decade. “Let’s hand ourselves over to it,” you can almost imagine her saying throughout the new record. If you’ve ever lost control of your mind, this album will resonate with you like few others. I loved it. Jesus Christ. This is the most traumatic masterpiece since Deathconciousness. It’s also the dark ambient/noise music project of Xandra Metcalfe, a young Australian transgender woman who seems to have been going through a lot, lately. The Origin of My Depression is one of the most harrowing offerings in experimental music this year. This album isn't meant to provide comfort, invoke pleasure, or create jaw-dropping walls of static. but mostly spare acoustic guitar that lends even more immediacy and intent. i just can't. There’s a great deal of chatter going on in the Western world these days about the ramifications of mental illness, as if it were something to be quarantined, to be isolated, to be contained, to protect from “the people” for the greater good. there is “An Angel of Great and Terrible Light,” the seven-track LP’s This is not an neat and clean LP for a label to sell to the infected masses. Living in Montreal, Canada with better half Josie and a dog named Scarlett. Proudly powered by WordPress If you want to hear the difference between silence and emptiness, this record is exactly it. Before I go, there’s something to be said about Angel of Great and Terrible Light and Misspent Youth, which are the two most structured songs on The Origin of my Depression. The Origin Of My Depression is a hard album to swallow at first listen. i've sat here with a blank text box for half an hour, trying to sum up my feelings for this album. blanket-covered legs in a hospital bed and a patterned drape on the cover of Xandra was really able to convey a sense of emptiness to her music. But Uboa’s emptiness is undercut by moments of great suffering, which are expressed on The Origin of my Depression by screams, static and harsh distortion. I haven't really seen people so dedicated to an album review since Titanic Rising, Every Album Ive Ever Listened To : RANKED, 200 Best Albums of the Decade (2010-2019). There’s a lot of space and scope to Uboa’s music and it’s never completely filled. His music writing has appeared in national publications such as American Songwriter and PopMatters, alt-weeklies The Brooklyn Rail and San Diego CityBeat, blogs Swordfish and Linoleum, and the Gannett magazine Jetty. this album is too powerful to be summed up in a review.